The energy in the woods was palpable. (tripping with Ben was incredible). to let our souls cry out and merge and bend and blend with the universe with love was beautiful... I've never seen the sky and the stars react to my energy... Or felt the earth embrace me as part of it... My belief in a collective consciousness only grew... The earth is an organism all its own and we came from it!! It is our ultimate provider! Let it be raised for people and creatures to love it and make it thrive. How cool would it be to be the patron saints or ambassadors of a loving, peaceful planet? Just Imagine :) Our potential to take care of it better grows as the power within us does. We can create galaxies and shooting stars of our own. You are constantly continuing to create your reality. Don't be afraid to love everything you see and feel in each moment because you are alive!
The hillllssssss are aliiivvvvvvveeee with the sound of musiiiiiicccc, with songs they have sunggggg for a thousand yearrrrrssssss.
And no, I am not still frying my balls off. Simply alone, for the first time in ages with peaceful time to reflect. Oh to wake up in bed and have the day! I haven't even started writing at all as much as I want to (need to)...or creating in general. It's too much fun with all this practicing of creation going on ;) I just need the time to freaking miss Ben too!!!
Its uncomprehendable to me that I have spent almost every waking moment with Ben since we met. How do 2 lives merge so instantaneously? We are merely on 3 months and we literally have had only one night apart since we started and I can literally tell you all of the times we've been apart more than 3 hours... It's like growing an extra appendage, but an extremely hot one you want to have inside you all the time. (dirrrrty) My tolerance for people in general is not usually this constant (nor has it been lately). I am a cave dweller and need to have that space to curl up in the dark sometimes. I am an extroverted introvert and to have the time to dive into myself without Ben around is not only necessary but blissful :) The understanding of this has been a rock and a hard place for me, because I love Ben so soo much and I love experiencing the world with him, even in the most minute and intimate of details. But not having enough of myself boils over at some point and I can honestly say Ben has seen me at my worst (so far) and we've worked through it and I'm pretty sure he still loves me :). There is this insecurity in me that is naive in love that I need to bite in the bud because it is a horrible anxiety i let take over me....I want all my filters to be from Love and not fear!
I defiantly was a bit mean to Ben this week. I was sick with Pine Fever and he took excellent care of me... But I got to this point where I was just so sick and miserable I didn't want to have to be around anyone... I was doing the master cleanse (liquid diet) and at one point Ben made me eggs in a basket (and the holes were heart shaped <3) and I yelled at him for making me breakfast... mean mean Nicole. Hopefully mean Nicole is gone because I am again felling wonderfully like myself again. Lots of love to share :)
OH and I should mention that Ben got a job (thank you Kenya I lovvvee you) and he started today!!! YAYYYY!!!!! Hence the peace and quiet... but funny how much even the littlest absence makes the heart grow fonder.
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